I was planning to have my little deck project done a long time ago. I was able, materials were on hand, but something else held me back: weather.
See, when you hit 77 you’ll find a little “voice alarm” that will go off in Ure head. “Cut yourself some slack…you deserve to enjoy a build like this when the weather is up around 60 – now it’s back down in the low teens!” Who knew Texas had winter?
Still, when the weather warmed between fronts, the railings began to appear:
And you see the chair and sun-umbrella holder? That was a genuine “hell of a deal” from Amazon. $149,
The reason we call it that is the simple reality of construction time and the local cost of lumber. Let me lay out what I figured my costs would have been:
- A trip to Lowe’s or Wally World would have eaten a full hour of time. Call that $20 bucks.
- The wood for such a combo (remember, two chairs plus a table) in poplar would be I figure $80 bucks.
- Then there would be furniture bolts, a good weather-proof base finish ($20 bucks?)
- And call it another one of my $20/hours to get on the web, find a plan I liked and then run the risk of running out of plans and having to do my own…
- Finally, because the standard poplar (at the standard “decent to good” aisle only comes in 3/4. Occasionally, 1/2-inch oak, but that’s a Fata Morgana or Flying Dutchman. from aging.
The way I figured it. the cost would be equal, but the time to sitting in a chair (in a sunny moment with a hot coffee or adult drink in hand) would be about 3-hours different.
Spare the driving and spoil the old man, says I. (Arghh! Along, if you must, matey.)
Meanwhile, Robert Lewis Railing had been hard at work…
(You have to look to see the hole in the table and the nifty nameplate on the chair back. That’s a fine detail I would certainly have missed.)
Mostly, the deck is done. We will be shopping for the 1 1/2 inch cushions (bottom and back) but they will be stored in the 180-degree room; damned feral cat will turn the whole effort into a pussery or cattery (whatever the term would be).
A Before and After
See any difference?
vs. 
The Great Undones
By now, you should be thinking “Elaine’s training program seems to be working… you’ve built something far above your style level…”
I haven’t asked for the final inspection yet. There are two Great Undones.
First is getting a “finished look” to the one-foot square paver edges. For these areas, I still need to pick up more pavers (you can always use more). But mainly – because of the weather delays,- the Haxman trick (using a concrete blade in an angle-grinder) depended on the diamond saws.
I’ll be honest with you: This is not purely for the “detail eye” of the princess-bunny turned OSHA-enforcer In Chief. Because I ride the mower around, ragged edges waste valuable ham radio, kibitzing, or BSing time. A 45-degree jig, lay down a line, grind the line on both sides, then break over a sharp edge.
Then, the last piece of the puzzle will be done, save dumping some 25 percent vinegar on the plants between the house and the deck., If nothing ever grew there again? That’d be fine and a sack of crushed rock will hold erosion down to negligible.
Umbrella Choices
Fortunately, we seldom get more than 10-knot winds around here. The reason we have so many solar panels around? We are in Wind Zone 2. Which means when I pant a bit when schlepping lumber, loc al wind for the day goes into the record books.
The umbrella choice is vexing me now. It’s not the price, though, it’s the architecture and windage.
As you can see (if you’re a salmon and always know where north is) the table with the 1.5 inch holes) is on the south side of the chair on the east side of the deck.
We can apply the simple concept of latitude here. Our spot in the woods is about 31.75 degrees north. Since the Sun only makes it to 23.5 degrees north, we know at the longest day of the year, from the north side of the umbrella, the Sun will be blocked inside a roughly 8-degree angle.
We have also measured the chairs and the table – from the center, the chair’s north side will be just over 3-feet from the center, which means a six foot umbrella. To make it work in winter, as well, we know the angle will be much more acute – about 56-degrees.
So, we need to shop for a tilting 6-foot umbrella with a maximum diameter of 1.6 inches.
Now the Problem Begins
The general use case for outdoor umbrellas is much wider than our narrow spec. Problem is the most popular sizes (and plenty ‘mo money) are the 9-foot variety. Not the kind of thing you’d trust to a small table, so not you’re into sand bags.
But wait! We also have stairs coming up from where the BBQ Gazebo will live. The wider the umbrella, the more likely you’d walk up the stairs and get poked with an umbrella stringer in their eye. See how the application of adequate forward thinking helps get to the “happy design?”
Ultimately, I picked a light green for $31 bucks.
Since I have a little rebar, and some “welding coupons” – which can be turned into steel reinforcing arms in a flash – if the water base isn’t enough to keep the umbrella solid, I will just start throwing around 1/2-inch welded 3 to 8 inch stringers as the spirit moves.
As you can see, there was not much to this project. Chunked nicely and beat going the route of others in their 70s who “go to the couch to die.” No thanks. We will take the aches and pains (and the ibuprofens) and push on through.
Once the umbrella shows up and another truckload of building materials (more pavers) to finish off other projects including the One Hour a Day Garden project, we should be on a roll around here. On Hour a Day, it’s the time of year when laying out the garden comes up.
Write when you, etc.
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